(This is another thing I wish I could go back in time and tell myself at the beginning of my querying career.)
Dear Newbie Querier Me,
I know you keep reading that you need to personalize each query to the specific agent you’re querying. I know you see agent interview after agent interview where they talk about what a difference good personalization can make. But listen to me carefully now: that advice is for other people. Not you. For the love of chocolate, stop trying to personalize your queries.
You didn’t meet those agents at conferences. You don’t have a referral. You aren’t going to impress them by saying you love their famous client, because everyone loves their famous client, and besides, their client you love is a picture book author and you’re writing YA. I know they say to let them know why you’re querying them in particular… but the fact is, for almost every agent you query, the answer is because I read everything about you I could find on the web and you represent my category/genre and seem really cool.
That is not actually useful or interesting information. Skip it and get to your story.
Most of all, Newbie Querier Me, don’t try to make charming small talk or any such crap. You can’t do that. Sure, you read success stories about people who did that in their query letters and it worked out for them, but those people probably did not grow up in Massachusetts. You live in a state where making small talk with strangers is considered an invasion of privacy and kind of rude. You never learned how to do it without sounding like a creepy stalker. Stop trying. Just stop.
If you want facts and figures, consider this, Newbie Querier Me: You will spend hours personalizing many queries. You will get many agent requests. You will never, even once, get a request on a query you personalized. You suck at this. Stop shooting yourself in the foot. No one will notice if you skip the personalization, but they sure as hell will notice if you screw it up.
Love and Kisses,
Future Agented You
(PS) To those reading this who are not me, if you’re one of the lucky ones who actually has specific connections to mention (met the agent at a conference, have a referral, etc), or who is good at this personalization stuff and not intimidated by it, go right ahead and do it! Don’t let my pathetic failures hold you back if this is an area where you can genuinely shine.
But if you’re like me and you dread the personalized section of your query, do yourself a favor and leave it out. Just make sure you get the name right, and do your research to make sure the agent is seeking what you’re querying and is a good fit for you. It’s your story they really care about anyway.